I honestly don't know why I still act surprised when French cars do French car things but here I am standing in my underground parking in Business Bay with a completely dead 508 and the electronic tailgate won't even pop open to get to the battery compartment because of course it's buried under the spare wheel and you need power to release the latch and the manual key slot in the glovebox is a cruel joke, I've got a jump starter in my other car which is currently with my wife at work so that's not happening and anyway I'm pretty sure this battery is original from 2019 and the Dubai heat has finally cooked it beyond saving, the part that's making me nervous is I've read the Peugeot forums and apparently you can't just swap the battery and call it a day because the BSI needs to go through a proper shutdown and wake up procedure or else the windows start acting possessed and the radio forgets its code and the stop start throws a fit, I really just want a Peugeot vehicle battery installation service that can come to the car and do the whole job correctly without me having to tow it to a garage and wait three hours in a dusty waiting room, so if anyone's been in this exact ridiculous situation with a dead Peugeot and found a mobile guy who actually showed up with the right AGM battery and a laptop to reset the eco mode parameters I'd really appreciate a name before I start trying to climb through the rear seats like a contortionist.